Should a pastor's wife go to her husband for private confession and absolution?

Pastor's wives find themselves in an interesting predicament, married to their pastor.  That predicament need not be weird.  It can be a unique blessing.  I'm sure some experienced Pastor's wives have great insight into this.  For here, I offer just some Do's and Don'ts.  I thought that'd be easier than a lengthy exegetical paper, haha.  Please feel free to comment and suggest, even discuss ardently, but please support your argumentation.

It is indeed a fine question for us consider our life in Christ. There's pros and cons, some better than others. I'll try a few more. (Written in first person's use for brevity's sake.)

Don't go to your husband, so he'll keep thinking of you as an angel who can put up with anything he dishes out on you. :) Do go to your husband-confessor, because out of love and duty he must absolve, and who better to grow as your confessor than one yoked with you?

Don't surprise him.

   
Do treasure forgiveness. Don't focus on the person you are speaking to, unless it is God himself. Do focus on the person you speaking to if they are who you want to restore with.

Don't go for C&A "counseling" if counseling is airing out your dirty laundry. Do go if "counseling" is walking through scripture to help us see our sin and thus confess rightly (instead of expressing oneself and breaking almost every proverb, haha,) so to receive forgiveness, not a chore.

Consider the bank as an illustration: If we see this as depositing a check, that's one thing, clinical, another lawful to-do list. Perhaps it's more personal than that, wouldn't you hope? But it's perhaps too much for most to bear.

It's a joy to announce Christ's forgiveness, but it's a chore to play games. Don't go to him "professionally" if you want to go to God and force C&A when he may "personally" not be ready to. Don't go to him first if you may need some clarity and time with the help of God's Word, perhaps by the pastoral guidance through the scriptures, by one who is not your husband. Don't go to another pastor-confessor (perhaps a brother in your local circuit) if you hope that the non-husband-confessor goes to your husband, for you. This is not what it means by building bridges.

Don't go together if it's to fix him. Do go together if it's as a couple seeking that absolution.

Consider some of the issues and analyze their presuppositions. Even the unsaid ones. "Am I supposed to be honest with my husband?" "Is there times that is not good?" "Why, or why not, why here but not there?" "What burden is too great to bear?" As they say, confession is good for the soul, but bad for the reputation.

Ultimately, let the Word guide you.  Consider Matthew 5, 1 Cor 13, 1 John 4, Ephesians 4, Matthew 18, 1 Peter 3, Proverbs 15, 2 Cor 2, Gal 6, and finally, dum-dum-dum, the great final chapter of Paul’s epic letter, Romans 15.